Almost..not quite though.

Alright life, you absolute heartless son of a bitch…you almost had me…again. I was almost ready to give up.

Fuck off.

Try again.

You’ve sent me obstacles and temptation before but nothing like lately…the past six months have been struggle after struggle..obstacle after obstacle. I’ve made wrong choices..I’ve made wrong decisions…but.

I’m..

Still…

Standing…

So hit me again..knock me down again. DO IT…

I’ll get back up..just like I always have. And ya know what…I’ll do it on my own AGAIN!!! Because that’s who the FUCK I am.

You might be thinking right now…that I sound angry. You’re damn right I am…I’m angry at every single person in my life that has ever said..I’m here for you, I’ll help in any way I can.

No you won’t…

No you fucking won’t..

I don’t care who the fuck you are or who the fuck I piss off..but no..ya won’t. You say you will, then you don’t follow through.

I’m not talking friends and family…I’m talking these fucking agencies that say “Oh if you’re abused..we’ll help you! You need housing?? We’ll help you!! You’re low on funds..you can’t make ends meet? We gotchu gurl!”

When what you mean to say is “Oh..I’m sorry there’s about 500 worthless piece of shit system using mother fuckers poppin out babies left and right to stay in the damn system and we need to help them first…even though you and 100 other people are busting your ass and would need less help and actually trying your asses off to get somewhere, just need a little damn hand…we’ll help the users first.”

What’s that? Mel sounds bitter?

You have no idea…

I have fallen through ever single crack in any system for so long I am literally done asking for help. So ya know what…

“Gets up off her knees, stops begging, dusts herself off, brushes her shoulder off and puts up two middle fingers”…I’ll do it my damn self.